Go Ahead, Prove Me Wrong...

And there it was...exactly what I needed to get the blog juices flowing. The writing gig to end all writing gigs.
 Call for Submissions: Erotic fiction and poetry

And you thought you had the best job ever when you could be writing erotica!

Seriously though, if you are going to make an online literary magazine, you really need to own up to what you are selling and what?????

NO PAY??? Which is fine, but if you are just spending your precious time and dirty little thoughts to the dark void of internet stealer space, you need to rethink why you waste your time coming up with crafty schemes that aren't porn...in the first place.

Writer friends...wait, only two people read this and I'm pretty sure they are still working on crayons, so....notes to self regarding submissions to online literary erotica or whatever your game of the moment is:


1. NEVER submit work to a no name anything.

2. Always look for at least free copies for compensation, that way even if you can't pay the mortgage, it can add to your trophy case your mom keeps for you back home. "But I don't have any trophies!" I know, you still get the point.

3.  Shop shop shop around and send out often.

4. Never underestimate the power of old school snail mail submissions with a self addressed stamped envelope and all that...Real is real and killing trees does suck, so does burning coal.

5. Hey...before you submit, READ the magazine first to know what they publish and what they would like to see in their issues.

6. The list of obnoxious and obvious answers to life is over, take a look at these real submission criteria from random places I like to visit, harass and send threatening letters to:

Seriously, these are what submission criteria should look like:

http://dreamsandnightmaresmagazine.com/guidelines.htm

http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelines/poetry.shtml

http://krakenpress.com/?p=37

https://mixerpublishing.submittable.com/submit/4810

http://www.albedo1.com/?page_id=82

 #Krakenpress is so awesome, I want to sweep their virtual floors.

Anyway, feel free to post any good publishers or literary magazine links on here, even the real deal erotica action, oh yeah.

Besides, the best erotica was written years ago by a WOMAN, Anais Nin's Little Birds and Delta of Venus  , the latter being the best by far...go ahead, prove me wrong...